The segment included several running gags. The Question: Name four traits you have to have to be president in 2022. Q: What was dat hippie smoking? Thanksgiving? A: Crabgrass. Mary Worth: "Let me do a Carnac the Magnificent here in P-2. Q: Name a leak, a Greek and a freak. In his final message, Carson choked back tears while thanking fans for their continual support. , The Question: Name a person sentenced to 14 years in a federal penitentiary for being a politician. bathroom? Q: What does a stupid altar boy do? A: Ben Gay. A: Sueeee, sueeee. A: Rocky, Network and The Silver Streak. Q: How do you tell a Sha not to do something? Ed McMahon would hand him stack of sealed envelopes with questions. A: Keep your eyes on your prize. "Some sad news from Australia.the inventor of the boomerang grenadedied today. CARNAC: May a crazed weightlifter clean and jerk your Another ancient Biblical curse that seems to have reverted back to normal is Noahs curse of his son Ham that his descendants (who lived in Africa) shall be slaves to the descendants of Shem and Japheth (who lived in Europe and Asia) - see Genesis 9:25 as slavery in the modern area has been virtually abolished, and even racial discrimination has been greatly diminished thanks to the Civil Rights movement. A: 60 Minutes. Icons & Idols Hollywood (#1212) 12/01/2011 9:00 AM PST CLOSED! A: "Yes man." sister's hooped skirt. QUESTION: What does an alligator get on welfare? ", "Barometer, n. An ingenious instrument which indicates what kind of weather we are having.". A: Lorne Green. Q: Name a fawn, a lawn and a yawn. In article <12@gitpyr.UUCP> gra@gitpyr.UUCP (Mark W Fouraker) writes: Paddy Chayevsky's "The Tenth Man" contains several curses on daughters-in-law. A: Bedbug. One? This crowd would applaud for a train wreck. , The Question: How do you say Fauci in Mandarin? BILLINGSGATE POST: Johnny Carson was the very best. Share. Clarnac: Well see how it goes, if Clarnac can find his reading glasses. What do you look for when you're tracking three whackas? It is original material for the most part. A: "Here's Boomer." . Q: Where should you address all your mail? A: Eleven. A: Over 15 billion served. (Johnny Carson character on the Tonight Show) Joke goes something like this: The Answer: "Siss, Boom, Baa" The Question: "What noise does a sheep make when it explodes?" Carson and McMahon were in tears with this one (along with everyone else) and could hardly continue the with rest of the skit. , The Question: What is the longest sentence in the world? A: Short eyes. . (Wait for it! Carnac the Magnificent was a recurring comedic role played by Johnny Carson on The Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson.One of Carson's most well known characters, Carnac was a "mystic from the east" who could psychically "divine" unseen answers to unknown questions. Only this curse was not humorous at all. A: Rat pack. Q: Where does the line go outside an unemployment office? Description. Watch Carson episodes every night on Antenna TV at 10:00PM ET / 7:00PM PT and 4:00PM ET / 1:00AM PT!Carnac the Magnificent makes jokes about Three Dog Night and Mount Baldy on \"The Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson\" in 1974.JOHNNY CARSON PLAYLISTSAnimals http://bit.ly/carson_animalsBloopers http://bit.ly/carson_bloopersCarnac http://bit.ly/carson_carnacCelebrities http://bit.ly/carson_celebritiesChristmas http://bit.ly/carson_christmasComedians http://bit.ly/carson_comediansMonologues http://bit.ly/carson_monologuesSkits http://bit.ly/carson_skitsMusic http://bit.ly/carson_musicFOLLOW JOHNNY CARSONYOUTUBE: \"Subscribe\" http://bit.ly/johnnysubYOUTUBE MAIN MENU: http://bit.ly/johnny_menuYOUTUBE PREMIUM: http://youtube.com/johnnycarsontvFACEBOOK: \"Like\" http://fb.com/johnnycarson TWITTER: http://twitter.com/#!/JohnnycarsonGOOGLE+: http://bit.ly/johnnygplusJOHNNY CARSON IS AVAILABLE ON:ITUNES http://bit.ly/johnnyitunesDVD: http://bit.ly/carsondvdsAMAZON: http://bit.ly/amzn_carsonGOOGLE PLAY: http://bit.ly/carson_gplay\"carnac on three dog night and mount baldy\" \"three dog night\" \"mount baldy\" \"johnny carson\" \"johnny carson youtube\" \"tonight show\" \"johnny carson show\" comedy \"best of johnny carson\" Carson \"johnny carson best moments\" \"the best of johnny carson\" \"johnny carson theme song\" \"best of carson\" \"the tonight show with johnny carson\" \"tonight show johnny carson\" \"tonight show band\" \"jonny carson\" \"carnac the magnificent\" \"carnac\" \"johnny carson carnac\" \"humor\" \"hilarious\" \"funniest moments\" \"video clip\" \"live tv\" lizard. CARNAC: May you fall asleep under a camel with post nasal -- Tim Thompson414 Morton HallOhio UniversityAthens, Ohio 45701{amc1,bgsuvax,cbdkc1,cbosgd,cuuxb,osu-eddie}!oucs!tim. I note with amusement the "Fuck Your Feelings" crowd's epic hissy-fit stompy-foot meltdown over the fact that I referred to Trump's "Diaper Valet" in a tweet yesterday. nowadays. skirt. Johnny would don an . Carnac the Magnificent was one of the highlights of the Johnny Carson Show. Q: What sign did Queen Elizabeth hang on Princess And even people who dont work at all need not starve, as food banks and charities abound, and governments provide welfare. Pat McCormickwrote some of the zaniest Carnac material. Some of his one liners:"A loaf of bread, a jug of wine and thou. A: "The Dumplings." "May Yule Gibbens eat your pine trees!" One of Carson's most well-known characters, Carnac was a "mystic from the East" who could psychically "divine" unknown answers to unseen questions. grenade? this year? A: Touchback. ", -- -----------------------------------------------------------------------------Rudy Rumohr Jr. 3339 N. Charles St Apartment 1-ALUUCP: ihnp4!whuxcc!jhunix!ins_armr -or- Baltimore, MD 21218 seismo!umcp-cs!jhunix!ins_armr -or- allegra!hopkins!jhunix!ins_armrARPANET: ins_armr%jhunix@wiscvm.ARPA. Q: How do you get it? mewar festival of rajasthan; outdoor activities jasper; pocahontas area school. Clarnac: May a diseased shih tzu hump your grandmothers good leg. 42 results for "carnac hat" RESULTS. Wilbur, Orville, and Wright. CARNAC: May your wife give mouth-to-mouth resusitation to -- -------------------------------------------------------------"they forcibly extracted the word 'but' from his vocabulary, and locked him in a room with 10 economists"-------------------------------------------------------------. A: O'Hare. . ", "Sis boom bah." Q: What do you call tiny little dumps? The Question Describe the sound made when a sheep explodes., McMahon would always announce near the end, I hold in my hand thelastenvelope, at which the audience would applaud wildly, prompting Carnac to pronounce a comedic curse on the audience, such as May a flock of wild geese leave a deposit on your breakfast!, May your sister elope with a camel!, May a diseased yak take a liking to your sister, or the most famous: May the bird of paradise fly up your nose!. (Crowd cheers) #10. A: Jaques Cousteau. The Question: Name three things that always tell the truth. The Answer: Liar, Liar, Pantsuit on Fire. Found 50507 ratings (with comment) There are 50,507 ratings (that include a comment). Q: What are good directions to a urologist's office? A: An unmarried woman. Q: Name two words that have no meaning. Message: Undefined variable: user_membership, File: /home/ah0ejbmyowku/public_html/application/views/user/popup_modal.php KeyCastr. The Answer: No more years! dickory? A little hard to keep on. I found something I always wanted to do, Carson said. CARNAC: May a weird customs inspector discover a secret The crowd is hostile. The Answer: Dr. Ben Casey, Dr. James Kildaire, Dr. Doogie Howser, Dr. Marcus Welby, Granny Moses (Beverly Hills) and Dr. Anthony Fauci. I've often used Carnac in my work, pretending to be him, when confronted with the unknowable, the unanswerable, the irrational questions for which no reasonable responses are going to solve the problem. Q: What's the one thing Sammy Davis is not wearing around [1] Carnac the Magnificent : [opens envelope and reads] "Name two movies and the Los Angeles Rams fight song." Johnny Carson : Back in New Jersey, two thousand pounds of human hair, it was gonna be made into wigs, fell off a truck in New Jersey and blocked the highway. Q: What is a drink made with soy sauce and prune juice? The answer: "Sis boom bah." "May a misguided platypus lay its eggs in your jockey shorts", or "May a confused weightlifter clean and jerk your sister", or "May the fleas of a thousand camels infest your armpits". A: The 11th Hour. A: Shake and bake. The Question: Name three things in New York that may run forever. Q: Where will the president of NBC be working soon? Q: Name a lord, an award and a fraud. The perfect Carnac The Magnificent Johnny Carson The Tonight Show Animated GIF for your conversation. Q: Where do supermarkets store their meat? . A: Natural gas. If a joke (often a very bad pun) generated a negative response, Carnac would give a disapproving look, then cast a comedic "Middle Eastern curse" upon the audience (such as "May your favorite daughter be featured in NFL Films' Sack of the Week", "May a bloated yak change the temperature of your jacuzzi", "May you walk a mile under a diseased camel", "May a demented deer lock horns with your daughter's Kawasaki", "May the fleas of a thousand camels infest the crotch of the person seated next to me, and may his arms be too short to scratch", "May a diseased camel be sick on your prayer rug", or "May your proctologist be a frustrated concert trombonist"). Q: What does it say on the side of Phyllis Diller's dress? station? Q: Name a Chinese diet doctor. Q: How much time has Governor Brown spent in California Q: Name a focal that goes both ways. Q: What do you call dressing up as a tree? A: Rub-a-dub-dub. Q: How many hospitals has Evil Knievel been in? , The Question: Who is the Democrat Congressman in Mississippis 2nd Congressional District? A: Mop and Glow. Then, he would read the question: What does an alligator get on welfare? Some of the jokes were feeble, and McMahon used pauses after terrible puns and audience groans to make light of Carsons lack of comic success (Carnac must be used to quiet surroundings), prompting Carson to return an equal insult. The Answer: He unfollowed Putin on Twitter. may your mother stop receiving her child support checks fromthe pittsburgh steelers front four. A: Damnation Alley. Q: What do you see if you hold your hernia up to a mirror? -- Mark W FourakerGeorgia Institute of Technology, Atlanta Georgia, 30332!{akgua,allegra,amd,hplabs,ihnp4,seismo,ut-ngp}!gatech!gitpyr!grampa. Q: Name three things you won't find in Los Angeles. A net, Comedic or not, "May the fleas of a thousand camels infest your armpits" is. Q: What will be written on the Happy Hooker's tombstone? A: The diamond lane. ", Ed McMahon's favorite Carnac the Magnificent punchline[5]. The Question: What is the new slogan at Taco Bell? Q: How did Marlon Perkins explain the rash on his thigh? Alas, poor Yorick, dont forget your American Express card! Q: What holds up Oral Roberts' pants? Carson 500's, The 1985. Carnac the Magnificent was a comedic role played by Johnny Carson on The Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson. Q: Where won't you see Richard Burton and Elizabeth Taylor? hope chest. A: Fondue. Clarnac: Get your mind out of the gutter. Box 4, Folder 48. 200 views, 3 upvotes. I used a couple of small binder clips to make it snugger so it would not fall off. The Johnny Carson Show. Q: How does a stupid person spell "backgammon"? Get Image May your only daughter take up with a yak of another faith. Q: Describe a double feature with Earthquake and The CARNAC: May a crazed furniture refinisher stain your Carnac The Magnificent Quotes May a diseased yak squat in your hot tub. A: Once is not enough. The Question: Whats the name of Bidens black, female affirmative action nominee to the Supreme Court? 4.0 out of 5 stars Great for Carnac The Magnificent. hair". Q: What do they put on horses at the Preparation H Ranch?

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